‘Men in the free world think we are mentally ill; they shun us and treat us like second-class citizens – it is virtually impossible to find a man willing to marry us’.

Women liberated from their insurgent captors say it is difficult to find love in the “free” world.

“Men in our hometowns treat us as if we are mentally ill and they tend to shun us. It is virtually impossible to find a husband,” says Ya Falmata Modu (not her real name), a woman from the Dikwa Local Government Area of Borno State who was liberated from an insurgent hideout by soldiers two years ago.

“In 2017 I was among a group of women collecting wood in the bushes when we were surrounded by Boko Haram [Jamā’at Ahl as-Sunnah lid-Da’way Wa’l-Jihād – JAS] fighters. They were fierce and extremely aggressive. They forced us to go with them to their hideout in the forest.

“I was kept captive for five years. They forced me to marry. I had no choice in the matter. I tried to escape many times but each time the insurgents found me and dragged me back.

“Then, two years ago, some of us were rescued by soldiers and members of the civilian joint task force. I was so grateful and I could not wait to be reunited with my family.

“I thought I would be free to find a husband and I would finally have a happy life. But instead I have found that men in the ‘free’ world tend to shun women like me. They don’t want to have anything to do with us.

“I think men will not marry us because they know we married insurgents and had children with them. They also think we are mentally ill; that we were indoctrinated by our captors.”

Ya Falmata said men treated her with disdain.

“Men look down on women like us. They treat us as if we are lower-class citizens. They don’t acknowledge that we were forced to be with the insurgents. We did not choose that life. We want to marry again and live normal lives just like any other woman.”

Ya Falmata said some of the liberated women had returned to the bushes to be with their fighter husbands.

“That has made it even more difficult for us to find a husband. Men think we will leave them. They think we will return to our husbands in the forest. They don’t trust us.”

She said parents of the liberated women were equally worried because they had adult daughters who could not find anyone willing to marry them.

“Our parents fear they will have to look after us until they die. They are scared that being with the insurgents has affected us psychologically and say that is why men shun us.”

Abubakar Ya Bor, a bachelor who lives in Dikwa town, said he had “no interest” in marrying a woman who had spent years with insurgents.

“Apart from anything else, I have heard grave accounts of men wanting to marry women who have been rescued. When the insurgents heard about it, they sent a stern warning and threatened to kill anyone who married their ‘ex-wives’. Any man who takes that chance is taking his life in his hands. It’s not for me.

“Besides, women like that think differently. I have met some beautiful women who were former captives but I discovered that they have a negative attitude. They hold different viewpoints because of all the time they spent with insurgents. I don’t think there would ever be peace in the home being married to one of them.

“And it is known that some women have run back to the life they shared with the insurgents. They seem to find it difficult to live a normal life. Psychologically they are different. I would never be at peace with a woman like that.”

SHETTIMA LAWAN MONGUNO